My Thoughts For The Day

Today is the birthday of my mother, and I would like to say happy birthday to the only woman I had ever loved... I just hope she could hear these words.

I always remember her as the simple one. She was full of sacrifice, full of hardships, and yet she never complains. I never heard her say her monologues, I mean, I never heard her telling her woes to us, her kids: against the simple life that we have had before, against every facets and realities of harsh life that we have had known. Still she remained calm, giving us the daily nutrition, not just for food that nourishes our bodies but food for thoughts for our soul.

I always remember her as a religious woman, a prayerful lady. A woman who sang Ave Maria on a high pitch, or the Salve Regina singing it to me like a lullaby. dozing me to sleep, for I don't know yet, as a child, the essence of the song. The song keeps on ringing to my ears up until now, it never faded. I always remember too when she and father sings their favorite song No Other Love. One of the sweetest songs I ever heard, the notes seem not to fade until now too.

I always remember her angelic smile, and her contagious laughters. I always remember her patiently sewing clothes for our keep. I always remember her not getting angry to us. I always remember her chicken tinola, which me, as the youngest in the family, would she give the best parts of the chicken.

Suddenly though, when father died, it is as if she died too with him. Her memory regressed. And when I come back home from a five year work abroad, she never recognized me as her son. Although, way back in my workplace, I always call her, and remind her that her youngest is still alive and well, loved her so much. Suddenly, I found myself crying. Where is she? Where is my Nanay now? Why has time taken the most important person in my life? Why did time rob my mother from me?

I don't know where will I get the answers to my queries. But I have to make a start to win her back, and know that I am at her midst. Patiently, i took care of her, singing her favorite songs. And there are times, say in just less than ten minutes, the lucidity of her toughts come back and she recognizes me already, and those were the few minutes that I am happy, contented that at last she comes back to her senses. But the rest of 24 hour grace periods, I am a nobody to her.

There are so many things that I remember in her. I always bite her ears when I make lambing to her, Or smell her armpit. Or embrace her so tight. How I missed her terribly! How I missed her....

Happy birthday Nanay. I hope you could see your son, crying because he misses you so much, while encpding tis mesage on this blog. I hope that you still could see me on my downest moment, and on every triumph that i have and will have. I hope to see you, and Tatay, and Manang Carling, soon.....

Soon...